


Chocolate Milk

by liepard442



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Edward doesn't like milk, Gen, Post Promised Day, also Riza's kinda like a mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8216566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liepard442/pseuds/liepard442
Summary: Edward disturbs people by yelling about milk, and Riza suggests a solution to his problem.





	

Sitting before him was what Edward Elric had come to consider his worst enemy. The creamy, white substance within the clear glass was clearly mocking him as he stared at it. That was one thing that he absolutely hated about staying in the hospital, never leaving his brother's side for a moment. _Hospital Food._

Of course, it wasn't that the food itself was bad. As a matter of fact, it was quite the opposite. Ed didn't find himself minding that part of the meals bad or annoying in the slightest. No, what truly bothered him was the creamy liquid that they _dared_ to serve as the beverage with almost every single meal. A bottle of cold, white, creamy, _disgusting_ milk. The cursed drink that, no matter how many people begged him to, he would never let touch his tongue. He hated the taste, he hated the texture-- He hated _everything_ about it.

Even if he would, supposedly, grow taller from drinking it... It was still the only thing that he refused to drink. He would drink water, tea, or anything else that someone would put in front of him... But the second that milk was on the table near his plate, he was ready to gag. Ready to scream, and turn his nose up to the even prospect of _looking_ at the disgusting liquid. He was certain that he would go blind just from looking at it too long. That was just how much he hated milk. To the point that, most of the time, he couldn't even stand to look at it. Unless he was glaring at it, of course. Trying to intimidate it into disappearing from where it sat on the table-- Of course, that never worked in the slightest.

“Big Brother, you really should stop glaring at your milk-- That isn't going to get rid of it, and you know it!” Almost instantly Ed was pulled out his hate-induced trance of staring at the disgusting existence that had been delivered to him alongside his lunch. That giggle that his younger brother added to the end of his statement was more than enough to tick him off even further.

“Don't tell me what to do, Al! It's not like I'd make _you_ drink this disgusting shit--”

“I actually wouldn't mind, if you're not going to drink it--”

“No way! I'm not going to make you drink more of this disgusting poison than you have to!”

“... Big Brother, I don't think milk is going to hurt me--”

“You don't know that.”

“Well it isn't a good idea to let a bottle of _perfectly good milk_ go to waste, Big Brother.”

“Perfectly good my ass, it tastes _worse_ than shit.” It was at that comment that Ed quickly turned his head to the door as he heard a swift knock from the hallway outside. “ _What is it?_ ”

“You don't have to be so rude, Big Brother!” As Alphonse was scolding his brother from the hospital bed, the door to their room opened to reveal their visitor. Standing just outside their room was Mustang's Lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye. Just looking at her, it was obvious that she was still vaguely recovering from her own injuries gained on the Promised Day. However, it was nice to see that she was well enough to be able to move around more than just within the room that she and Roy shared. (Why they had put the two of them in the same room, he had no idea. After all, didn't they usual separate patients by gender?)

“Your brother's fine, Alphonse.” Her statement was rather to the point, obviously more to comfort him over Edward's actions than to actually start of the conversation. “Though I suppose that is a bit of a lie.” As she added that last part to her sentence, Riza's eyes locked with Ed's, a stern expression planted on her face. “Why the hell are you yelling so loudly? The General and I could hear you through the damned walls, you were so loud just now!” With the tone that her voice started to take on, she sounded more like an irritated, scolding mother than a military officer.

Almost instantly Edward had a retort to her scolding, of course. “Well it isn't my fault that they're trying to make me drink the worst possible thing to ever exist on this god-forsaken planet!”

Riza's eyes were directed to the table, where Edward's half-eaten lunch was. Sitting on the table, clearly untouched and unopened, was a bottle of milk. Almost instantly, as soon as she noticed it, Riza found herself shaking her head. Was he serious that he was causing such a fuss over _milk?_ It was almost unbelievable... Until she remembered just how _petty_ the young ex-alchemist was. This was exactly like him, wasn't it? “... So you're throwing a temper tantrum because they gave you milk.”

“It's not a tantrum!” Edward exclaimed, his expression knitting itself into a frown. “It should be illegal to sell this shit to people! It's disgusting, and I can't see how anyone can even stand to _look_ at this shit!”

“... What if I told you that I knew of a way to make it taste better? Then would you drink it?” The question seemed to come out of nowhere, but it was one that she knew she had answer to if he was willing to try it. After all, it wouldn't be too difficult for her to get her hands on the one thing that the milk was missing. Of course, before Edward even had a chance to respond, his brother was the first to comment.

“Of course Big Brother would be interested! Them he'd be able to grow taller~”

That very comment was enough to make Edward's rage visible. The blond _snapped_ around to face his brother, steam practically escaping his ears as his face turned bright red from the intensity of his emotions when it came to his height. “I'm not _that short,_ damn it!”

“You are kind of shrimpy, though! I'd take Lieutenant Hawkeye's advice, and try whatever trick she has up her sleeve! Then maybe you'll be able to grow taller!”

Reluctantly, Edward turned around to face Riza, still clearly irritated with his height being brought into this situation. “... Fine. What's your 'trick,' Lieutenant?”

“... I think you'll like it, if you'll just give me a moment to go get what you'll need.”

\-------------

It didn't take long for Riza to return to the Elric's room, a box of brown powder in her hands. Almost instantly, Edward was skeptical, raising an eyebrow at the strange package that the Lieutenant had brought into the room to make the _disgusting_ milk that had been given to him 'taste better.' Something that he _already_ believed to be impossible. “So what the hell is that?”

“Chocolate powder.” Riza's response was short and precise as she placed the box on the table next to the bottle of milk. “We're going to mix it into the mi--”

“ _You're going to ruin perfectly good chocolate with milk?!”_

“I'm not going to ruin it, Edward.”

Taking the bottle of milk from where it still sat, Riza poured some of it into a glass before opening the container that she had brought into the room. Just as she had explained, the box contained fine, brown powder. Taking a spoon and scooping up a spoonful of the powder, she began to bring it over to the glass-- Before she heard a scream.

Stopping instantly, her eyes locked with Edward's. The young, former alchemist had been the source of the scream. “What's the matter, Edward?”

“I told you! You're going to _taint_ perfectly good chocolate with that shit!” Hearing his explanation, Riza couldn't help but shake her head, smirking just a bit as she _finally_ dumped the powder into the creamy, white substance that the young boy seemed to hate so much. She could feel his eyes _burning_ into her as she added another spoonful... Before finally beginning to mix the substance that she had created with the spoon.

As the spoon circled, hitting the edges of the glass with a satisfying 'dink,' the white milk soon began to turn brown in color, steadily growing slightly darker every few rotations... Until Riza finally stopped stirring, and pulled the spoon out. “Now, are you going to be a baby and keep crying about how you don't want to drink your milk, or are you going to try this?”

There were several moments of silence, Edward clearly uncertain of what he was going to do. On one hand, he could act like the adult that he almost was. He could suck it up take a drink of the mixture that Riza had created, tainting something so _great_ with something so damned disgusting... Or he could stick to his morals and tell her to fuck off, and pour it down the drain like he always did. Both options had their pros and cons, and both were incredibly viable...

It took him a moment, and Edward was finally able to come to a decision. … He would try it. And, if he didn't like what he was tasting? He would spit it out and proceed to pour the rest of the tainted mixture down the drain in the room's bathroom. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Cautiously, Edward took a step forward... Before taking the glass from Riza's hands.

Hesitantly, he brought the edge of the glass to his lips... And tilted it slightly, allowing the _disgusting_ drink into his mouth....-- Before _instantly_ spitting it out onto the floor of the hospital room, some of it getting onto the slippers that were on Riza's feet.

The Lieutenant jumped back, though she was unable to fully avoid the spray of chocolate milk that escaped from Edward's mouth.

“ _That was the most disgusting shit that I've ever tasted, and you should be **ashamed** for thinking that mixing chocolate with that shit was a good idea.”_

“... In that case, I'll go get a nurse to clean up your mess, Edward.” And with that, without even waiting for a response, Riza was gone, carefully shutting the door behind her--

“... I guess you'll never get any taller then, Big Brother~”

“ _Shut it, Al._ ”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh this was just a silly fic that I figured would be fun to write. I hope that ya'll enjoyed it ^^"


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